The ferret and the executioner

Dan James and Gjanni Alioski both celebrated helping their countries get to within one game of the 2022 World Cup on Thursday night, but I don’t need to tell you which one looked like they were living their best life and which one looked like a lost puppy.

In Wales’ 2-1 victory over Austria our favourite Little Scum Bastard played at peak Dan James. His constant pressing put Austria’s defenders on the verge of mental breakdowns, creating Wales’ best chances of the game. The problem was, when the chances weren’t falling to Gareth Bale, they were falling to James himself. It didn’t matter how many opposition players he wrestled past when it looked impossible to get through on goal, all that hard work kept leading to what looked like easy one on one chances, and James kept kicking the ball straight at Austria goalkeeper Heinz Lindner.

Writing in The Guardian, Barney Ronay accurately described James’ role next to Bale in Wales’ front two as ‘one to ferret and press for two men, one to provide the fantasy, the vibes.’ James must yearn to be able to stand as still as Bale and still get all the glory for shooting into the top corner. If Rob Price was able to combine the two players’ genetics, he’d get a Frankenstein resembling the best footballer on the planet, or at least the player Real Madrid thought they were signing for a world record fee in 2013.

No Wales player made more tackles than James, but all he got as a reward for his work rate was the fewest touches of the ball on his team and a load of dickheads taking the piss out of him on social media. No wonder Marcelo Bielsa, who said he values running because “it indicates sacrifice”, was so bewitched by little Dan. With his final chance of the game, James raced from his own half with only Lindner ahead and the other twenty players on the pitch chasing after him. He got as far as the edge of Austria’s box, but slowed down when he should have shot, letting a defender make a tackle. It reminded me of an interview Pat Bamford gave in the promotion season, when he said one of the main reasons he was missing so many chances was because he was working so hard he was often too knackered to put the ball in the net when it fell to him in the penalty area. Shortly after James’ wasted chance, he was taken off, limping, because that’s how every Leeds United player has to end a match at some point this season.

While James was being compared to a rodent in The Guardian, Gjanni Alioski was being described as ‘one of Italy’s executioners’ in a Reuters report syndicated around the world after North Macedonia beat the reigning European champions 1-0. The article referred to Alioski as a ‘polyglot’, and has been translated into almost as many languages as Gjanni can speak.

Like James, Alioski was devoting his night to unglamorous work. Italy had 32 shots to North Macedonia’s four, twice as much possession, and sixteen corners to zero. Alioski made nine clearances on his own. Italy’s entire team made four all game.

Alioski was in a personal duel with Domenico Berardi all night. It would be wrong to say Alioski kept him quiet as Berardi had eight shots, but even his namesake Gaetano would have done better than getting just two on target. The Sassuolo forward thought he was finally about to score in the second half, turning and shooting in the penalty area, only for Alioski to appear out of sight and block his attempt. As he got to his feet, Berardi looked up at Alioski, pleading with him, asking why he can’t just bugger off. Alioski was too busy getting a big kiss from goalkeeper Stole Dimitrievski to notice.

While James waits for Scotland to play Ukraine to discover who Wales will play, North Macedonia have already been set up against Portugal next Tuesday night. That means Gjanni Alioski will be swapping a battle against Domenico Berardi for a scrap with Cristiano Ronaldo, who should not take the prospect lightly. If Alioski can do it to Italy, he can do it to anyone. ⬢