What's This? Where Am I? Simon Walton on a Red Card & a Round of Applause Against Valencia, 2004 He was just some little kid with dodgy hair and a tracksuit, says Simon Walton, but his Elland Road debut has never been forgotten. By Rob Conlon
Burned sausages Leeds United 2-0 Schalke: The last BBQ Somewhere in the deepest, darkest depths of Cornwall, Neil Warnock’s thin lips were breaking into a shit-eating, I-told-you-so grin. By Rob Conlon
Don't tell anyone Leeds United 4-1 Hannover: Spot on No wonder this had to be played behind closed doors. Georgi Rutter's footwork was so filthy I had to close the curtains before watching a replay. By Rob Conlon
Cold Water Cross In The Stream: Dom Poleon on Leeds, Italy & Dave Hockaday Dom Poleon, folding his arms and frowning in a stream, summing up the mood of a club in its first summer of being Cellino’d. By Rob Conlon
Pre-season heritage Harrogate Town 0-3 Leeds United: Exotic New faces. New shirt. LUTV charging a fiver for a jumpy stream. This is Leeds United pre-season heritage. By Chris McMenamy
With a little help from Lloyd Sam Mateusz Klich saves the day He barely misplaces a pass all night. No wonder Jesse Marsch didn’t have a clue what to do with him. By Rob Conlon
Keep Pounding! I went to the Copa America and all I got was a kick between the legs A wild night that belonged in the Wild West, not the East Coast. By Rob Conlon
Free hugs Paradise belongs to Marcelo Bielsa (but not Raphinha) Las Vegas meets Leeds United: “It turns out you guys are all cold. You’re psychopaths.” By Rob Conlon
Highlights Our 2024 Summer Special | on sale now It's a three-cover special — you will receive one of Ayling, Coops or Dallas at random. By The Square Ball
RIP One Rob Burrow Leeds were playing champagne rugby, and Burrow was dancing through defences with the electricity of Diego Maradona if he’d been born in a West Yorkshire mining town. By Rob Conlon
Last time, this time, next time Leeds United 0-1 Southampton: Turning up What the hell is it with Leeds United and Wembley? By Moxcowhite • Daniel Chapman
The proper stuff Leeds United 4-0 Norwich City: Bringing it all together Sometimes football brings it all together and gives you a night like this. By Moxcowhite • Daniel Chapman
Shootout Pat Roulette Which Leeds players are definitely missing in a penalty shootout, and who might at least hit the target? By Rob Conlon
It's fine Norwich City 0-0 Leeds United: Skip to the good part "Hopefully the second step, by scoring, comes this coming Thursday," said Daniel Farke. Hopefully! By Moxcowhite • Daniel Chapman
Sign my rectum? The Panini League Every story needs supporting characters and, this season, Leeds United Women were cast as a bit-part. By Flora Snelson