“I always thought football was for men to play and get their anger out”

Written by: Rob Conlon
Photograph by: Lee Brown

Abbi McLaren is as Leeds United as it gets. She has grown up supporting Leeds, lives a short walk from Elland Road in Holbeck, works in Billy’s Bar, and named her young son Lucas. Supporting a football team is one thing, but Abbi always thought playing football wasn’t something for her to enjoy.

“Obviously I know women play football, but I always thought it was for men to play and get their anger and frustration out,” Abbi says. Which is why, on the night of Holbeck Moor FC’s first open training session, she attended not to join in, but pushing Lucas in his pushchair so they could watch her partner (who is a Millwall fan, but let’s not dwell on that) practise for the men’s team.

While Abbi was standing on the sidelines, looking after Lucas, she was approached by Claire ‘Blue’ Graham, who coaches Holbeck Moor FC’s Women’s team. Blue told Abbi about the team, and explained it was open to players of all abilities and experiences, and also mentioned the creche the club provides for parents who need a hand with childcare during training. The following week, Abbi dropped Lucas off to play with other children at the creche, and turned up to training wearing a pair of boots given to her by Blue.

“It was quite nerve-wracking,” she says. “I suffer with my mental health — anxiety, depression — so it’s scary meeting new people. Especially when I’d been locked up with my son, who was born during Covid. We hadn’t been out in the open for ages. I was saying to my partner, ‘I don’t think I can do it, I don’t think I’ve got the ability.’ He told me to try it. Blue told me to come along and if it’s not something I like let her know. I’ve stuck with it ever since, almost a year down the line now.”

A year later and Abbi is back on Holbeck Moor watching training. She is hobbling around on crutches; her foot, broken in a tournament, is in a protective boot. It doesn’t stop her kicking any stray footballs that come in her direction. Even with a broken bone, simply watching football isn’t for her anymore, and she can’t help joining in with her teammates during the warm-up.

Formed in partnership with Slung Low, Holbeck Moor FC is a subs-free football club, aiming to provide access to the mental, physical, and social benefits playing a team sport can provide. When numbers of the women’s team dropped during winter as training switched to the floodlit astroturf pitches of the John Charles Centre, Lucas was the only child using the creche. Slung Low had to decide whether it was financially viable to open a nursery for one child, but made sure Abbi wasn’t excluded by paying for her childcare costs so she could still train. Players who needed help getting to training had taxi fares covered.

“I was just at the creche and we had eleven kids over there,” Abbi says now they’re training back on their spiritual home of Holbeck Moor. “My son started going back two weeks ago. He loves it. It’s something I want to keep up.”

After a few weeks of training with the team, Abbi wrote a letter to her coach and teammates explaining her struggles with her mental health and how much joining the team has helped her. “Her being that bold and saying that has brought so much out of others feeling able to talk about such tough stuff,” says her coach, Blue.

Abbi says: “Obviously you can be up and down with your mental health, each week, each day, each hour. But since I’ve started playing, I can come home on a Monday after a crap day and think, I’ve got Wednesday evening for some me time, a bit of freedom.”

Before her injury, Abbi had barely missed a training session. When it came to choosing a captain of the team, Blue encouraged Abbi to put her name forward. Her teammates agreed she was the perfect choice.

“She has really taken it on,” Blue says. “If a new player comes it will be her that goes up to introduce them. She’s very intuitive. If she clocks someone is not in a great mood she will very subtly have a chat. She’s brilliant. Quite an old head on young shoulders.”

Abbi, who plays as a defender, was as unsure about the captaincy as she was about joining training for the first time. But a lot can change in the space of a year. She laughs when she talks about some of her teammates still not listening to her, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Thinking about it now, I love it,” she says. “Back then I didn’t think it was for me. I didn’t think I was vocal enough, stuff like that. Some of my team are absolutely brilliant and will listen to what I say. You get the odd few that say, ‘You don’t know what you’re on about.’ It’s a lovely bunch of females, all different abilities. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never kicked a ball in your life. Come along and give it a shot.”

Anybody interested in joining Holbeck Moor FC can email [email protected] or call 07305 155698. We can also heartily recommend pre-game drinks, and post-game drinks, at The Holbeck, the oldest social club in Britain.