Barry Douglas and a Left-Back’s Freedom

If Junior Firpo is thinking losing 5-1 at Old Trafford is an ominous start to his Leeds United career, he should have taken heed of the warning signs on Friday night, when Barry Douglas curled a beautiful free-kick into the top corner for Lech Poznan.

It’s almost four years since he last scored a free-kick, for Wolves in a 2-1 win at Bristol City in December 2017, and Douglas spent his weekend retweeting every video he could find of the goal. BazzDogg has had a frustrating few years, so it was nice to see something going right for him. You could feel the weight lifting off his shoulders as he tweeted: “That felt good.”

It was a great goal:

And it was tediously predictable. All we wanted to see was Douglas scoring one free-kick in a Leeds shirt, then hopefully loads more. But Leeds left-backs aren’t allowed nice things. Even while on loan at Blackburn, the football gods spotted Douglas was still technically contracted to Leeds United, and prevented him from scoring. Three games and three minutes into his fresh return to old club Poznan, the curse was already lifted. The goal was even eerily similar to the free-kick he scored against Thomas Christiansen’s Leeds while swashbuckling his way to promotion with Wolves.

Leeds fans don’t need excuses to be paranoid or superstitious, it’s in our blood, but how else do you explain our luck with left-backs other than a curse? Terry Cooper was enjoying being the best left-back in the world until a broken leg three minutes from the end of a 3-0 win at Stoke cost him two years of his career, as well as FA Cup and First Division winners’ medals. In 1989 Jim Beglin joined Leeds hoping to resurrect his career after a horrific leg break at Liverpool, and retired two years later because his knee was ruined.

The post-Tony Dorigo dirge is too much to get into, the small mercy being that most of them were only on loan. Alan Wright had the good grace to keep his spell short and sweet, appearing once in a 4-0 defeat at Stoke before his loan was curtailed by a calf injury and a change of management. Stephen O’Halloran didn’t even make it that far, breaking down in the warm-up ahead of his debut and missing a year of football with an anterior cruciate injury. The mere thought of Cameron Borthwick-Jackson still makes me inexplicably angry.

The plight of our cursed no.3s is only accentuated by the names of those who have made a decent fist of the role. As right-footed midfielders, neither Andy Hughes nor Stuart Dallas are naturals, but both have been steadier options through diligence and sheer persistence. Gjanni Alioski had a better go at it than most, but was wearing no.10 after signing as a right winger.

So good luck, Junior. You’re going to need it. It’s been just over a month and our latest victim has already picked up an injury and been thrown into a second half headfuck featuring a goal every nine minutes. Judging by his interview with DAZN, helpfully translated by Joe Brennan, he at least got the memo in advance: “I’m sure I’m going to have a tough time.” ◉