Bournemouth 2-2 Leeds United: Sorry not sorry

Who are you and what have you done with the Leeds United I fell in love with? The return of my favourite football club after the final international break of the season was meant to be fraught, agonising, absolutely terrifying — our annual meeting with an Easter existential crisis. It was not meant to be this deliriously silly and downright funny.

In that sense, this game did share aspects of sheer bastardy recognisable from the occasional Leeds result in my formative years, like the spoil-yer-party win at champions QPR in 2011 or the crushing of Watford’s promotion dreams in 2013. Except those victories were borne out of pure antagonism by United sides who’d already soiled their own season and had nothing to play for, whereas the current Lads of Leeds keep threatening to make this a campaign worth commemorating. Tyler Adams’ tears were just a bonus.

It was made only sweeter by so much of the indifference that preceded Sean Longstaff’s resplendent stoppage-time equaliser. Nobody needed a midweek trip to Bournemouth right now. Nobody ever does. For most of the opening hour I could sympathise with the players sleepwalking through the game like an early League Cup tie, longing to get to London on Sunday.

There was little snap to United’s play. Gabi Gudmundsson and Noah Okafor both shirked out of fifty-fifty tackles, understandable given Jayden Bogle was nearly crocked by Ethan Ampadu, caught on the kneecap by the studs of his own captain. Bogle kept himself safe before being subbed off at half-time by staying out of the way of everyone else on the pitch, including Bournemouth’s attackers. Thankfully, Leeds could rely on Pascal Struijk and Karl Darlow continuing their fine form at the back, Struijk once again producing a performance of rugged defending he’s too handsome to be given credit for and Darlow adding to his list of superb saves this season. Please play him at Wembley, Daniel. I don’t care if it’s harsh; I care more about our chances of winning a semi-final than I do about Lucas Perri’s feelings. Perri is always there for penalties if we need him.

A point would have been a lovely result, however arduously Leeds got there. In a strange way, it was why I was almost glad Bournemouth went ahead. At least it meant I finally felt something. Ao Tanaka lost the ball in midfield and Gudmundsson failed to win the second ball, leaving nobody protecting the defence with Ampadu covering for Gudmundsson at left-back. Eli Junior Kroupi was played into the penalty area and finished past Darlow for his second goal against Leeds this season.

Despite the comfortable buffer to the relegation zone, many fans had spent the days leading up to the game tormenting themselves with various permutations of results that would still send us down amid the discussion of whether Daniel Farke should stick or twist with his team selection ahead of Sunday. Farke was evidently in a similar frame of mind, living up to his promise of going full strength for a result and doubling down once behind. Noah Okafor hit the post immediately after Bournemouth’s opener, at which point Farke turned to his bench but refused to make changes simply for change’s sake, introducing Lukas Nmecha to Leeds’ attack alongside rather than in place of Dominic Calvert-Lewin.

To Farke’s credit, the changes helped his team, which are words I don’t often get to write. Nmecha went straight at Bournemouth’s defence, seemingly desperate to score, and it didn’t take long before Leeds were level. As the hosts tried to clear an Ampadu long throw, they were penned into their own penalty area by Leeds’ new enforcer Brenden Aaronson outmuscling a centre-half (he was good again). The scramble was eventually ended by Nmecha’s fellow sub Wilf Gnonto putting his laces through the ball and celebrating its deflection off defender James Hill for an own goal.

Once more, Leeds had a result to hang onto. And with Andoni Iraola and his players bitching and moaning on and off the pitch, that’s when the silliness really kicked in, aided by Joe Rodon’s somewhat slapstick appearance off the bench that included briefly incapacitating James Justin by booting a ball straight into Justin’s. Tanaka atoned for his error in the build up to Bournemouth’s opener with an exquisite last ditch tackle to stop Alex Scott scoring from a rebound, while Darlow and Struijk combined to deny Evanlison after the striker got behind Rodon with Justin still haunched over checking his crown jewels were still in one piece.

For all the increased effort, Leeds only walked into a sucker punch as our old friend Adams came off the bench, found space on the right with Longstaff slow to close him down, and crossed for fellow sub Rayan to put Bournemouth back ahead. It could have been even worse as Marcos Senesi hit the bar with a header and Evanilson had a finish dubiously ruled out for an offside… armpit? Shoulder? I still don’t really know. I hate that such goals are deemed offside but since it was against Leeds I was delighted it was. Does that make me a hypocrite? Absolutely, because that’s what football makes of us all.

Even with the decision, it still felt like the fortunes were against Leeds when Gnonto crossed from the right and Nmecha volleyed onto the post, yet as my thoughts once again returned to the weekend Ampadu launched one last long throw into the box and the ball was headed into the air, allowing an on-rushing Longstaff to crash it into the bottom corner and leave Iraola and Adams whining while Ampadu ran past grinning.

For all the fears of the players being strained by a long midweek trip to the south coast ahead of the semi-final, Longstaff’s equaliser will have made sure the players felt a lot less tired than they might have on the way home and underlined that this Leeds team are playing right until the very end. While much of the focus of Chelsea finally realising the mistake of their ChatGPT project with Dave Hockaday Liam Rosenior focussed on the stat of them being outrun in every Premier League game this season, those same graphics show that only Arsenal have been outrun fewer times than Leeds.

It would have been nice if Rosenior was still in the dugout on Sunday, but for once Leeds United will be heading to Wembley buoyed by excitement rather than weighed down by expectation. That might just be the silliest thing of all. I can’t wait. ⬢