High fives, headers and hands on hips

Charlie Cresswell didn’t get to be a hero when England won the European Under-21 Championship this summer. As a squad player he kept a clean sheet in his ninety minute run-out against Germany — but that was nothing special. Everyone had a go at a clean sheet, because the Young Lions didn’t concede once the whole competition.

Last week, Taylor Harwood-Bellis’ hamstring went askew, meaning Cresswell’s bench place got upgraded to a starting spot for this week’s qualifier for the next Euros, against Ukraine. Charlie had the chance to show Daniel Farke that he should be above Liam Cooper, at least, in the pecking order.

The headline isn’t a great advert, though. Undefeated in competitive matches since June 2022, England Under-21s hammered Serbia 9-1 last week, so it was quite the surprise when Lee Carsley’s lot were 2-0 down by half-time on Tuesday night.

Big CC started by giving out a high five to goalie James Trafford when he tipped a whipped-in corner over the crossbar after five minutes. Cresswell then saved him the embarrassment of conceding from a bicycle kick, his mere presence enough to leave Bohdan Viunnyk humiliated in the attempt.

What Liam Cooper would have done in the build-up to Ukraine’s first goal is left to our imagination, but Cresswell came off better than Tino Livramento, who forgot to mark Nazar Voloshyn, letting the shot run through his legs while standing in Trafford’s way so he couldn’t do anything about it, either.

Trafford had clear sight of Ukraine’s second but it didn’t help him judge a free kick by Oleh Ocheretko as it flew into the far corner. Ocheretko cupped his ear with enough panache to leave Patrick Bamford seething with envy. The camera zoomed on a deflated Trafford, the nights drawing in on his summer of no concessions.

England fought back midway through the second half. Off balance in the penalty area, Rory Delap got the ball to Noni Madueke, and Madueke plumped for smacking it in off the inside of the far post. He took to heroism well, insisting his teammates set up for the restart, but Cresswell went the extra mile, running out of his half and back again to high five the scorer.

Cresswell’s palm was primed to high five whoever came forward next to save England’s unbeaten streak, but as time ran out, with no other heroes around, it had to be him. In the 89th minute there were five players in the six-yard box and they all let Harvey Elliott’s cross bounce inside it. The ball was falling from some height, it was a job for a tall man, and Charlie Cresswell was the last of the five. He’s so big, he’s like a tree, he’s the tallest man ever.

On Tuesday night, one Leeds United fan called @MellyMaestro wrote: ‘Charlie Cresswell is huge, I bet his mam saved a fortune on food when he went on loan to Millwall.’

I was upset at the weekend because commentator Robyn Cowen described Aston Villa’s goal against Arsenal as a ‘towering header’, but Maz Pacheco is 5ft 5in and she didn’t leave the ground.

When Cresswell heads the ball, he towers, whether he likes it or not. Have you seen him do a stooper, or a diver? I can’t remember one. This one was a towering nodder. When Elliott’s cross bounced Charlie only had to twitch that great big head of his and England had the equaliser. He loved it so much he kept on nodding as he sprinted away like a chicken that approves.

This chicken got a cuddle from Madueke but he wasn’t stopping there. Cresswell had scored the goal himself, but he still hit Jarrad Branthwaite with a high five as the pair ran back to the halfway line. The headline was sorted: ‘Late Cresswell nodder completes Young Lions comeback to snatch Euro qualifying point’.

Not quite. Madueke could have stopped Ukraine’s match-winning attack before it even started but he slipped on the halfway line to give Valentin Rubchynskyi free run of the England half. Heroism’s not for everyone, I guess. It was four on three, and the Chelsea boy was only really jogging. ‘Go on, Cress’, his weary feet seemed to say, ‘I’m teeing you up for a top drawer last-ditch. You take it. Be the hero again.’

So up stepped Cresswell. Illya Kvasnytsya got the ball and was threatening in the box. Cresswell was jockeying with all he’d got but he couldn’t block the shot. It was quite a good strike so I was surprised Charlie didn’t give Kvasnytsya some skin to congratulate him too, but then I saw his hands fully engaged with his hips, his head down, a right sorry pose.

England couldn’t do much with the twenty seconds left so coach Lee Carsley had to focus on what they’d learnt. “I was pleased with the performance but not the result,” he said. “This could potentially be a really good lesson for us to help the group. We spoke about how to respond when you have setbacks.”

I don’t know much about responding to setbacks, but I do know that I wouldn’t mind having Charlie Cresswell around when one hits, for high fives and headers. ⬢