talkshite

I just wanted an excuse to tell you that I think Jamie O’Hara is a clampit

Written by: Chris McMenamy
Artwork by: Eamonn Dalton
Jamie O'Hara staring vacantly into space as if his brain is full of hot air. Oh wait, it is

I’ve had enough of Jamie O’Hara. Him and his mates’ β€˜controversial’ opinions and hot takes keep appearing in the football news media and it’s finally reached the point where I feel the need to rant about it.

I don’t follow him, nor talkSPORT, nor any shock jocks of his ilk. Yet every time I open social media, especially Twitter, I’m subjected to the sort of footballing analysis normally reserved for the dickhead’s table in your local pub.

It’s probably silly to give O’Hara any attention, but here we go. I can imagine the smug look on his stupid face as the internet rages over yet another of his galaxy-brain insights on football and he collects his pay from Murdoch.

He’s come for Archie Gray in his latest clickbait crusade. That’s a bridge too far, O’Hara. I’m not normally one to defend an ex-Leeds player too vehemently, but Archie is obviously a special case. O’Hara picked him out alongside Tottenham’s new signings as proof that the club are recruiting below the level they need to be.

On talkSHITE, he said: β€œBrennan Johnson. Good player, a young player. Nottingham Forest, done the business for Forest. We signed him for Β£50m. He looks miles off it, miles off it. And then I look at him and go, Archie Gray, good player. He’s from Leeds. It’s a Championship player. And we signed [Wilson] Odobert from Burnley.”

Not overly critical of Gray, but still a dig. However, he only said this when questioned about his post on Twitter after Sunday’s North London derby, in which Spurs lost 1-0 at home to Arsenal.

Note the context that has been added by readers. If you were to be cynical, you’d say O’Hara knew what he was saying when tweeting those names out. But no, he’s clearly just an eejit.

When Spurs sacked Jose Mourinho in April 2021, O’Hara went on talkSHITE to suggest a replacement: β€œI would say Bielsa β€” I think he’d be absolutely brilliant, and the fans would love him. If you can try and prise him away from there, it’d be unbelievable. The Leeds fans would be devastated, and there would be uproar, but Spurs are bigger than Leeds.”

A few months later, he tweeted this:

It’s the classic shock jock approach. I’d imagine most of the β€˜calls’ that night were made from inside the talkSHITE studio.

O’Hara has some cheek to question the quality of the players that Spurs have signed in the last year. For all his media presence, you’d think he was the 2000’s answer to Glen Hoddle for Spurs, although the only similarity he shares with Hoddle is a propensity for saying idiotic things in the media.

He played just over fifty games in six years at Spurs. His Wikipedia page lists the 2008 League Cup on his honours list, while also pointing out that he was left out of the squad that won it, with Teemu Tainio favoured as the substitute midfielder that day.

He’s the perfect person for this sort of flip-flopping role in the media. After all, this is the same guy who left Arsenal’s academy to join Spurs as a teenager.

After being bombed out at Tottenham, he moved to Wolves and the descent into non-league began. Five years after leaving a Champions League club, he was playing for Billericay Town. From the San Siro to Gavin & Stacey.

A former England Under-21 international, he started to sound out an international call-up to his ancestral home, Ireland, but it never materialised. They preferred to stick with a more dependable pro like Paul Green.

What was the point of this article? There isn’t one really. I just wanted an excuse to tell the readers that I think Jamie O’Hara is a clampit, and that he’d do well to leave Archie Gray out of his silly little radio rants.Β β¬’

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