No skidmarks

Leeds United 3-0 Luton Town: After the storm

Written by: Rob Conlon
Joel Piroe celebrates his goal against Luton with Willy Gnonto jumping on his back and Joe Rodon there to make sure nobody gets hurt

Five minutes into the game, my dad turned to me and asked whether Pascal Struijk was playing left-back. Struijk was indeed standing by the left touchline, with Manor Solomon ahead of him on the left wing, begging the question, where the hell was Sam Byram? Eventually, we spotted him: he was spearheading Leedsโ€™ attack as a centre-forward. Obviously.

For all the frustrations and criticisms that Leeds are too cautious under Daniel Farke, his players sure do have a licence for adventure. Although that didnโ€™t make what happened a few minutes later any less surprising. We knew Byram was a good footballer from the moment he scored his first ever goal for United as a teenager most of us had never previously heard of, skinning two Oxford defenders before chipping their goalkeeper in a League Cup tie way back in 2012. Really though, Sam, a scissor kick? Where the fucking hell did that come from?

Byram returned to Leeds last year a very different player to the one who left the club in 2016 destined for the Premier League, not that you can tell by looking at him. Having always been expected to reach the Premier League and maybe even the England squad either with Leeds or without, his ascent was swiftly curtailed by injuries that meant he became more accustomed to the physioโ€™s table than a football pitch, stuck in the monotony of never-ending rehab. Having injured his knee during a loan spell at Nottingham Forest, he spent six weeks stuck in bed using a machine that helped him bend his leg for six hours a day. Aside from bingeing Netflix and any DVD box set he could get his hands on, his only relief from the โ€œmind-numbingโ€ daily existence was treating himself to twenty minutes up and down the corridor of his apartment building in a wheelchair. Once heโ€™d watched all the Sons of Anarchy he could take, he started learning the piano to keep his mind alert, even though all he wanted to do was kick a football around with his teammates. As he told The Athletic in 2020: โ€œYou feel almost a sense of worthlessness.โ€

Which makes Byramโ€™s revival at Leeds all the more joyous. Ever since heโ€™s returned to Elland Road, Byram has proved over and over that Leeds are lucky to have a player so dependable and proficient. They arenโ€™t the sexiest of adjectives to describe a footballer, but as qualities they make him worth his weight in gold, especially when every now and again he pulls off a finish with such class it would make Allan Clarke blush.

After the storm in Swansea, Byramโ€™s early goal helped ease everyoneโ€™s blood pressure, albeit it still needed Struijk to match his full-backโ€™s acrobatics with a goalline clearance as Leeds briefly malfunctioned. Joe Rothwell and Ao Tanaka momentarily let their grip of midfield slip, the defence allowed Victor Moses to run out of their sights, and Illan Meslierโ€™s approach to smothering the chance resembled a dog slowly dragging its arse along a carpet. Still, it was worth it if only to see Struijk wipe the skidmark from the clean sheet with an overhead kick.

Leeds scoring a second goal before half-time was equally important, proving theyโ€™d got the nonsense of South Wales out of their system and werenโ€™t going to be lulled by their own dominance. Even if the good vibes of Joel Piroe lashing in a rebound from Struijkโ€™s header at a corner(!) wasnโ€™t enough to placate two Leeds fans having a spaghetti western bar brawl in the concourse of the North East corner at half-time. People get their thrills in different ways, although personally Iโ€™ll always prefer a couple of bicycle kicks over a punch-up.

A much calmer night made it easier to appreciate just how easy Leeds are making almost every game look this season. Reducing Leedsโ€™ football to the numbers can suck the fun out of so much of what the Peacocks do well, but the stats remain startling: 76% possession, twenty shots to seven, 36 touches in Lutonโ€™s penalty area compared to their five in Leedsโ€™. Under Farke, Leeds are doing this every week โ€” even if it canโ€™t safeguard us against our annual defeat at Millwall โ€” but that doesnโ€™t make it normal.

If the second half was threatening to leave some supporters cold, then Dan James came off the bench to make sure nobody โ€” apart from Angus Kinnear โ€” could have any complaints. Jayden Bogleโ€™s pass was the rabbit for Leedsโ€™ greyhound to chase, and James made his lob over Luton goalkeeper Thomas Kaminski look far easier than it was in reality. On a night devoted to Gary Speed on the anniversary of his passing, James ended it by becoming the first Welsh player to score twenty goals for Leeds since Speed himself โ€” and brought to mind Howard Wilkinson stealing a phrase from Ernest Hemingway to describe his own precocious Welsh winger after one of his most famous goals: โ€œWith confidence comes composure and, if you like, grace under pressure.โ€ โฌข

(Photograph by Arthur Haigh, via Alamy)

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The Leeds United players celebrate winning 3-0 against Birmingham City in the 1972 FA Cup semi-final
Don't be so f*cking daft