Dog(ging)

Problem Chimp

Words by: Michael Normanton
Artwork by: Lee Shackleton
An image of our agony aunt, The Problem Chimp, outside Elland Road with his hood up. It looks an awful lot like Michael Normanton, or ET

In his own humble opinion, Michael Normanton is a jack of all trades, and a master of them all too. From medical science to football coaching, via roof repairs, acting, and the music of Half Man Half Biscuit โ€” he (thinks he) knows it all. Thatโ€™s why heโ€™s our very own agony aunt, our Problem Chimp, answering questions put to him by TSB+ members and imparting his unique brand of wisdom on the world.

My very best friend is sadly a Scum fan, but Iโ€™ve recently heard him saying Leeds were his second team and if heโ€™s honest he prefers us over Scum. Whatโ€™s my move here? Do I encourage this transition, or take him into the Kop and expose him? Iโ€™m torn between helping him, or having him murdered. Thanks in advance.
P.S I canโ€™t afford a hit taken out on him, so maybe Michael could take him to the Spoons, in Pontefract and have him dealt with?
-Dick Van Shitbitch

โฌข

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