Problem Chimp

In his own humble opinion, Michael Normanton is a jack of all trades, and a master of them all too. From medical science to football coaching, via roof repairs, acting, and the music of Half Man Half Biscuit — he (thinks he) knows it all. That’s why he’s our very own agony aunt, our Problem Chimp, answering questions put to him by TSB+ members and imparting his unique brand of wisdom on the world.

My very best friend is sadly a Scum fan, but I’ve recently heard him saying Leeds were his second team and if he’s honest he prefers us over Scum. What’s my move here? Do I encourage this transition, or take him into the Kop and expose him? I’m torn between helping him, or having him murdered. Thanks in advance.
P.S I can’t afford a hit taken out on him, so maybe Michael could take him to the Spoons, in Pontefract and have him dealt with?
-Dick Van Shitbitch

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