Robin Koch’s agent has been busy trying to earn his coin this summer. Since the end of the season, Koch has been linked with moves to Tottenham, Newcastle, Scum, and Bayer Leverkusen, although rumours of him staying in the Premier League never went beyond convenient clickbait.

Instead, it felt destined that Koch was joining Eintracht Frankfurt for the last month or so. He tweeted his goodbyes to Leeds last week, a few minutes before Eintracht Frankfurt announced the deal — a season-long loan, with Eintracht paying a loan fee and covering his wages. Phil Hay reported at the end of December that Leeds had a contract extension for Koch ‘waiting to be formalised’, but it seems he had the foresight not to use up any ink with his signature. He joins Eintracht with only a year left on his contract at Elland Road, so that’ll be the last we see of him.

How it started

Supporters, Marcelo Bielsa, and the Leeds board were in agreement that Ben White was The Guy after Leeds won promotion from the Championship. Three bids were made to Brighton to sign White permanently, the last of which was in the region of £25m with add-ons that would have taken the price closer to £30m.

Brighton didn’t budge, at which point Victor Orta told Leeds not to worry. He’d been tracking this German centre-back since January 2017, when he was still working as sporting director at Middlesbrough. Leeds paid Freiburg £13m to sign Koch, and when Diego Llorente joined at the end of the transfer window, United had landed Germany and Spain internationals for a combined price cheaper than it would have cost to buy someone who eighteen months earlier had been playing for Peterborough in League One. Great work, Victor!

How it went

The kindest thing to say about Koch is that he was never Leeds’ worst defender. At a club that has employed Junior Firpo for the last two years, that accolade earns Koch a pat on the head rather than a huge amount of credit and goodwill.

There were times when Koch played well for Leeds, particularly at the start of last season, but so often the image he projected of a calm, composed centre-half was undermined by being part of a defence busy conceding 156(!) goals across the last two Premier League seasons. I don’t need WhoScored to tell me that’s a lot.

He joined Leeds as a Germany international, but he has won one cap in the last three years and hasn’t been called up since 2021. It has gone worse for other players at Leeds, but it certainly could have gone better for Koch. At least Sam Allardyce liked him.

Theee years of watching Robin Koch and honestly can’t tell you if he’s good at football or not ????‍♂️ https://t.co/zI3MklgcjJ

— Luke Chambers (@luke_chambers76) July 6, 2023

Best moment

Hmmmm. This is difficult. A compilation of his ‘highlights’ at Leeds was posted to social media after he left — which I can’t find now, so I suspect it might have been deleted — featuring lots of clips of centre-backy things like tackling, heading, and clearing the ball. Yet it was impossible not to watch them and realise they were from matches Leeds lost after conceding a load of goals. He never scored for Leeds, which wasn’t his job, but if Gaetano Berardi could do it then Robin’s got no excuse.

Instead he’ll be most fondly remembered for seeming like a decent bloke with a cool haircut and moustache. I enjoyed looking at his Lauson turntable and pristine copy of Abbey Road when Robin was featured in Soccer Bible. He became an ambassador for the Leeds Children’s Charity — which he still has in his Twitter bio — hanging out at a farm and teaching kids how to shoot a bow and arrow.

On the pitch, I’ll at least be grateful for the way he filled in at right-back for the last few games of 2021/22 so Jesse Marsch could stop playing Raphinha as a fucking wing-back.

Worst moment

It sums up Koch’s time at Leeds that, as difficult as it is to remember a highlight, he never reached the personal nadir of a complete breakdown that is the fate of most of our centre-halves. Conceding a penalty at Liverpool on his debut wasn’t ideal, but that had more to do with a dodgy interpretation of the handball rule that was subsequently changed.

Scoring an own goal in last season’s defeat at Leicester was particularly cruel, if only because he felt like the defender least deserving of the dishonour. It also means he leaves Leeds having scored more goals against us than for us.

What might have been

Koch started his first two seasons at Leeds by getting injured in the opening game of the season. He suffered a knee injury at Anfield on his debut but battled on until December before finally undergoing surgery to fix it, ruling him out for most of the second half of the season. After beginning 2021/22 with ninety minutes in a pasting at Old Trafford, he was then ruled out for four months with what Marcelo Bielsa seemed to enjoy describing as a “rebellious pubis”.

He wasn’t helped by returning to play in central midfield because Kalvin Phillips was injured and Victor Orta didn’t know any other midfielders apart from Harry Winks. Perhaps there’d have been more of an emotional connection with supporters if he’d played more under Bielsa in the team that finished 9th, but the evidence of last season suggests he was always destined to leave Leeds to general shrugs and a sense that Charlie Cresswell will at least be more fun.

Rate the goodbye

Koch got his goodbye in a few minutes before Eintracht Frankfurt announced his signing, posting a long message set against the backdrop of Elland Road under what appears to be the red sky of Mars. Come on, Robin — weren’t you paying attention? We don’t like red!

Sure, it reads like it was written by a social media manager, but given he seems like a genuine guy I’m choosing to believe he really does think this:

‘All the moments I have experienced together with you and especially at Elland Road, great victories and bitter defeats, have made me the person I am today. These are impressions and feelings that cannot be put into words and that have made me very proud and happy that my path as a professional footballer has led me to this club. I have taken Leeds United into my heart.’

That did feel jarring, though, when it was swiftly followed by Eintracht Frankfurt’s enjoyment at announcing his arrival with an image of Koch holding a plate of schnitzel and fried potatoes with the hashtag ‘#ItsCooking’, describing him as a ‘Late Night Snack’. Because Koch translates as ‘cook’.

Speaking to the media this week, Koch said, “When I left the Bundesliga, my goal was to develop and mature as a person. After three years I can say that it worked.” It’s a familiar theme among many of Leeds’ relegation squad. Personal growth is great, and I’m sure Eintracht will benefit, but couldn’t they have also set a goal to develop into really good footballers and a really good team?

Luke Ayling replied to Koch’s farewell on Instagram by describing him as, ‘A brilliant human. A good man with a good heart.’ But right now I’m craving some spiteful bastards eager to win at all costs.

Where they’re going

Like lots of the losers leaving Leeds this summer, Koch has failed upwards. Eintracht finished 7th in the Bundesliga last season, qualifying for the Europa Conference League, and were also runners-up in the German Cup and UEFA Super Cup.

We’ll be glad he’s returned to the Bundesliga rather than remained in the Premier League when it inevitably turns out he’s actually brilliant. And Tony Yeboah played for Eintracht Frankfurt, so that means they must be alright really. ⬢