If the upheaval of this last week feels familiar, it’s because this is how Leeds United Football Club used to operate all the time.

Leeds don’t need a Bank Holiday to leave the fanbase with sore heads and self loathing. What was meant to be the start of just another normal weekend in January 2014 turned into the Mad Friday of club captain Ross McCormack wondering aloud whether he was going to join another team live on Sky Sports, manager Brian McDermott being told he was sacked — psyche! — and Massimo Cellino being chased around Elland Road in a taxi before he’d even bought the club.

Under Cellino, Mad Friday eventually felt like a quiet night in. A pre-season tour couldn’t take place without uncertainty whether the opposition were actually going to turn up. Press conferences couldn’t be held without Cellino taking a break to freshen up in a gent’s cubicle. Leeds couldn’t lose a game without fear Verne Troyer might be next to get a go in the dugout. No wonder the players needed a pre-match cigarette to settle the nerves.

The difference between then and now is that Leeds were a mess of a club in the Football League, and had been for a decade. Andrea Radrizzani took over from Cellino needing to clear the low bar of being more capable than a man who confirmed the appointment of Darko Milanic by saying he didn’t know why he had hired him. Radrizzani had three years to learn from the visionary coach who saved the club — and the owner’s investment — plus three years of Premier League income to safeguard Leeds’ infrastructure. With what I can only hope is a month left of his ownership, Leeds have come full circle, acting like they’re still being run by Cellino — sunglasses and all.

Radrizzani’s Twitter DMs to Conor McGilligan are 2023’s equivalent to Cellino’s phone calls with White Leeds Radio. ‘I am responsible for this shit,’ Radrizzani told McGilligan, just like Cellino used to say he should sack himself while he was getting rid of his latest head coach and sporting director. Radrizzani is responsible, but it’s Javi Gracia and Victor Orta who are out of work. The current squad haven’t been caught smoking or refused to play like the Sicknote Six, they just find it difficult to wave at a child. Meanwhile, Weston McKennie’s most devoted fanboys leap to his defence by telling us he’s not rubbish, he simply can’t be arsed.

The appointment of Sam Allardyce has at least provided a comic twist. Sammy Lee can’t join because he’s on jury duty, so Allardyce has brought Robbie Keane with him from Soccer Aid. If it all feels a bit Mike Bassett, that’s because they’ve both worked with Bradley Walsh as their assistant manager. Allardyce isn’t daft; he knows he won’t be blamed if Leeds go down. Offered £500,000 — and a potential £3m — by Radrizzani for four weeks’ work regardless of whether he wins a point or not, Allardyce said, “It took me about two seconds to say yes.” No shit! Don’t worry though, he’s got it all sorted — at his opening press conference, Allardyce said one of the keys to coaching is “staying ahead of the game, which I did in the early 2000s.”

It reeks of relegation but, like Cellino used to try convincing himself, the craziest thing is it might work. Mike Bassett, after all, took England to the semi-final of a World Cup. Unfortunately for Radrizzani, it doesn’t matter whether Leeds stay up or not. He can keep airing his dirty laundry in public, but he won’t be able to get rid of the stench.  ⬢